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Schedenfraude tastes great!

Do you remember Elizabeth Dole? Well, I do. Republican Senator from North Carolina Elizabeth Dole who carpet-bagged all the way from Kansas (yes, I know she was born in NC) where she left old Bob to lust after Britney and pet his dog. Ewwww. Anyhoo, Liddy, as her friends, and terrified local and national media suck ups like to call her, is in electoral trouble, seems she's losing to this upstart, whippersnapper, wise-cracking* Democrat, Kay Hagan that has the nerve, (the nerve!) to point out how lousy of a Senator she has been. The reason I have such a special love for Bob Dole's wife is quite simply her daft decision to push, as the then Secretary of Transportation under Saint Ronald, the raising of the legal drinking age from a semi-morally-consistent age of 18 to 21, oh, and of course fighting off all efforts to mandate increased gas mileage, airbags, and whatnot. And the fact that I was ever so close to that beautiful young age of 18 trips around the sun thanks to my mother (hi mom!) when they passed this stupid idea into law, and forced me to spend 3 years of my youth in the uncomfortable position of having to lie to people's faces and say, "yes, that's me and yes, I'm 21," causing me untold psychological ills to this day... with the stroke of a pen, St. Ronald Wilson, passing into law, what Bob Dole's prudish wife wanted: A generation of kids forced into unwanted sobriety that were conveniently still old enough to enlist in the Army. That was some good old school hypocritical Republicanism don't you know? She wanted me, and all those like me, to be inconvenienced at the very least, possibly even arrested for trying to use a fake ID just so we would feel guilty for wanting what any sane, testosterone-sodden teen wanted. Drunk girls. Goddamn you Liddy! God damn you... my inner pimply teenager has never forgiven you. Sniff...

* If you mean pointing out the special interest, oil-whoring, Bush-licking record of Madame Senator Dole, makes her a cracker of wise, than guilty as charged.
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  1. SteveSunday, October 05, 2008 7:23:00 PM

    If this holds to be true, the upside for Liddy will be no more pesky US Senate business getting in the way of getting her nails done, beauty salon coiffs, shopping, luncheons and no more boring trips to North Carolina a few times a year.

    Posted by: Hugh | Oct 05, 2008 at 08:58 PM

    ReplyDelete

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